Previously our favorite shirt was the super punny: “Boo, You Whorecrux” (although “Boo, You Horcrux” would be preferable) but that may have been replaced by this hilarious “Crows Before Hoes” shirt available for purchase on RedBubble. Though, wouldn’t “Crows Before Hos” be more preferable since hoes brings to mind gardening implements versus ladies of the night? Semantics aside, either way crows always come before hos and once you take the black you never go back.
The terrifying gross-out children’s book series Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark has been snapped up by CBS films to be turned into a movie for the big screen.
And since the original books still haunt us to this day (that one about the singing dog and the severed head we still have nightmares over), we’re curious to see where it goes. Also it’s being produced by the same guy who made the 1999 Mummy, so there’s that too.
Starting today, Around the Interwebs will be the place where we compile all the fun videos and humorous things we find around the internet during the week and more pressing news articles will be given their own posts! You may have noticed that we kind of already started the latter once or twice or thrice.
Walter White’s “I Am the One Who Knocks” Written By Other Authors (via Tumblr)
Back in September author Laura Spadanuta imagined what it would be like if Walter White’s infamous “I am the one who knocks” speech was written by famous literary figures. It just popped up on our Tumblr feed and we’re still missing “Breaking Bad” super hard so we’re sharing it now. You can check out the full article to see how the speech would sound through the lens of Jane Austen, Edgar Allan Poe, James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway, John Steinbeck, George R. R. Martin, J.K. Rowling, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Toni Morrison, Dr. Seuss and Stephenie Meyer.
“And so I come, heartily rapping, not at all gently tapping, tapping, upon the chamber door. Tis I,” he blustered, “and no one more.”
First and foremost, New York Comic Con is a comic book centered convention, but that doesn’t mean we don’t find a good mix of upcoming comics, graphic novels and even a YA tome or six when we go to panels and patrol the con floors. In fact, if you can’t get into BEA, NYCC is a great place to meet authors, snag copies of their books (some of which are even ARCs) and add some autographs to your collection.
So without further extrapolation, onto the books and comics you’re going to want to get your hands on! Or paws, no judgement here.
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children: The Graphic Novel by Ransom Riggs
Release Date: October 29, 2013
Just in case your imagination is so terrible that even the photographic visuals in Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children weren’t enough, a graphic novel adaptation is coming out right in time for Halloween and the annual All Hallow’s Read. Also to promote the books sequel Hollow City due out in January 2014. How very very convenient.
The Geek’s Guide to Dating by Eric Smith
Release Date: December 3, 2013
The fabulous social media manager over at Quirk Books, Eric Smith (who you may know as the guy who sold his fiance’s engagement ring after she broke up with him and bought some Master Chief armor with the cash) wrote a how-to guide for geeks and dating and since we’ve already seen the book in its draft and ARC stages we can tell you that it is witty, adorable and a must buy, even if you’re already in a relationship. Keep it around for the references alone!
Outcast by Robert Kirkman
Release Date: 2014
Walking Dead author Robert Kirkman is taking on yet another facet of the horror genre, this time by tackling demons, possessions and exorcisms. The monthly serial will follow protagonist Kyle Barnes who has been dealing with possession since he was a young child. Now in adulthood, Kyle is seeking answers that may have apocalyptic connotations that have nothing to do with Paranormal Activity.
The Fall of the Hotel Dumort: The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare and Maureen Johnson
Magnus Bane watches the once-glamorous Hotel Dumort become something else altogether in 1970s New York City.
Fifty years after the Jazz Age rise of the Hotel Dumort, immortal warlock Magnus Bane knows the Manhattan landmark is on the decline. The once-beautiful Hotel Dumort has fallen into a decayed thing, a ruin, as dead as a place can be. But the vampires don’t mind…
WHY WE’RE EXCITED: We don’t know how many times we have to tell you we’re Team Magnus Bane before you get why we’re digging these short stories. Mostly though we can’t wait to read about what Magnus is wearing in the 70′s.
Perfect Ruin by Lauren DeStefano
On Internment, the floating island in the clouds where 16-year-old Morgan Stockhour lives, getting too close to the edge can lead to madness. Even though Morgan’s older brother, Lex, was a Jumper, Morgan vows never to end up like him. She tries her best not to mind that her life is orderly and boring, and if she ever wonders about the ground, and why it is forbidden, she takes solace in best friend Pen and her betrothed, Basil.
Then a murder, the first in a generation, rocks the city. With whispers swirling and fear on the wind, Morgan can no longer stop herself from investigating, especially when she meets Judas. He is the boy being blamed for the murder — betrothed to the victim — but Morgan is convinced of his innocence. Secrets lay at the heart of Internment, but nothing can prepare Morgan for what she will find — or who she will lose.
WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Minus the murder, we totally wouldn’t mind living on an island in the clouds! Bonus points for this gorgeous cover.
Marissa Meyer, author of the fantastic fractured fairy tale science fiction stories Cinder, Scarlet and the soon to be released Cress has a new book on her horizon for 2015 based on a 2012 NaNoWriMo project. Even better? That novel is a prequel to Alice in Wonderland! Our hearts just tore apart in happiness. The novel, entitled HEARTLESS, will focus on the, “tale of how a marquis’s teenage daughter became the infamous Queen of Hearts. It will be a story of whimsy and madness, passion and tragedy, ravens and writing desks.” We cannot wait. More information about the project can be found on Meyer’s blog.
Marie Antoinette, Serial Killer by Katie Alender
Colette Iselin is excited to go to Paris on a class trip. She’ll get to soak up the beauty and culture, and maybe even learn something about her family’s French roots.
But a series of gruesome murders are taking place across the city, putting everyone on edge. And as she tours museums and palaces, Colette keeps seeing a strange vision: a pale woman in a ball gown and powdered wig, who looks suspiciously like Marie Antoinette.
Colette knows her popular, status-obsessed friends won’t believe her, so she seeks out the help of a charming French boy. Together, they uncover a shocking secret involving a dark, hidden history. When Colette realizes she herself may hold the key to the mystery, her own life is suddenly in danger . . .
Acclaimed author Katie Alender brings heart-stopping suspense to this story of revenge, betrayal, intrigue — and one killer queen.
WHY WE’RE EXCITED: The ghost of Marie Antoinette returns to murder the descendents of the people who sent her to the guillotine. If this isn’t “Supernatural” level shenanigans we don’t know what is.
The Red Queen Dies: A Mystery by Frankie Y. Bailey
Frankie Bailey introduces readers to a fabulous new protagonist and an Alice in Wonderland-infused crime in this stunning mystery, which kicks off an exciting new series set in the near future.
The year is 2019, and a drug used to treat soldiers for post-traumatic stress disorder, nicknamed “Lullaby,” has hit the streets. Swallowing a little pill erases traumatic memories, but what happens to a criminal trial when the star witness takes a pill and can’t remember the crime? When two women are murdered in quick succession, biracial police detective Hannah McCabe is charged with solving the case. In spite of the advanced technology, including a city-wide surveillance program, a third woman is soon killed, and the police begin to suspect that a serial killer is on the loose. But the third victim, a Broadway actress known as “The Red Queen,” doesn’t fit the pattern set by the first two murders.
With the late September heat sizzling, Detective Hannah McCabe and her colleagues on the police force have to race to find the killer in a tangled web of clues that involve Alice in Wonderland, The Wizard of Oz, and Abraham Lincoln’s assassination. Fast-paced and original, this is a one-of-a-kind mystery from an extremely talented crime writer.
WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Okay, so technically this came out on the 10th but we missed it so we’re adding it into today’s roundup. Kindly ignore this snafu. Regardless, this futuristic novel jumped out because we, Cassie-la in particular, loves all things Alice.
Since Warner Bros. loves making money they have a brand new idea up their sleeve, a spin-off movie based on J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter companion series Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them. On the plus side, they’re allowing/forcing their House Elf and HP creator J.K. Rowling to pen the screenplay so there’s a chance the companion films won’t be as terrible as the adaptations where Harry Potter and his mother couldn’t be bothered to have the same eye color. Did we mention that Warner Bros. wants to turn this into “films” plural and that an attraction will be added to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter once the film is done? No, because we didn’t have to.