Tag Archives: satire

Around the Interwebs: Volume XIX

9 Mar

Gary Busey Explains How Hobbits Are Real and Why They’re Horny. Through Song. (via StarCrush)

For some reason (that reason most likely being brain damage) actor Gary Busey is under the impression that Hobbits are real. So much so that on his YouTube series “The Busey Zone” he shows off his severed Hobbit foot and sings a song about how they’re really horny. Jump to 3:28 for that nonsense. Because in Gary Busey land, “Horny starts with an H. The letter H. Hobbits start with the letter H. Horny Hobbits are thriving in Middle-earth. They don’t know what a reindeer is, but they’re horny like you can’t believe it.” This guy’s brain is like a bag full of cats.

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Jingle Brains, Jingle Brains: Cassie-la Dissects “I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus” by S.G. Browne

26 Oct

I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus: A Breather’s Christmas Carol by S.G. Browne (Advanced Reader Copy)
Release Date: October 30, 2012
Genre: Fiction, zombies, dark humor, satire, Christmas but with more brain munching
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Summary: Former zombie rights activist and member of the undead Andy Warner wakes up to find himself dressed like Santa with a giant gaping hole in his head and no idea how he ended up on a body farm. All while his elf helpers chow down on some brains next to him. What follows is a Christmas novella of love, redemption, equality, and the unbreakable nature of the undead human spirit. It will have you smiling, cheering and gagging in equal measure as you find yourself siding with the decomposing corpses who populate its pages.

This sequel to Breathers: A Zombie’s Lament (S.G. Browne’s first published novel) is every bit as wonderful- if not more wonderful than its predecessor. I could read a whole series of books set in the Breather‘s universe! Set one year after the first book, I Saw Zombies contains some spoilers to the original including the fate of its main characters. But, if you merely want to read a, “… Holly-jolly- zombie Christmas” story about a girl and her zombie who spreads Christmas cheer you don’t necessarily need to read the first book. But you should.

The novel and the novella are both set in a world where resurrections are a semi-regular occurrence, but beyond researching on the undead and locking them up in pounds, not much structure is in place to deal with them. Having been officially labeled dead by the government, all zombies are stripped of their social security numbers and their rights. They are literally the living dead in the eyes of the world. It’s enough to break your still beating heart.

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Around the Interwebs: Volume V

20 Oct

Underground Library May Give Bibliophiles and “Avatar: The Last Airbender” Fans Boners (via Book Riot)

To be fair, this library isn’t in the middle of the desert and it isn’t run by Wan Shi Tong or organized by foxes, but it is underground. Located in the Netherlands, the Delt Technical Library was rebuilt below ground after the original library was lost in a fire. The gorgeous front desk is made up of books saved from that fire and a giant skylight filters natural light from above. Just don’t leave your sky bison parked outside. Those sandbenders have sticky fingers.

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Around the Interwebs: Volume III

6 Oct

Avenger’s Arena: Marvel Pits Teenage Heroes in Battle Royale Style Fight to the Death (via Comic Book Resources)

In slightly belated but no less exciting news that we just stumbled on, Marvel has announced plans for a Battle Royale themed story-line that pits its teenage superheroes against one another in a battle to the death. Starring fan favorites X-23, the Runaways Nico and Chase, and members of the newly created Braddock Academy, Avenger’s Academy is scheduled for release in December. More details including an interview with creator Dennis Hopeless (great name!) can be found on the CBR website. Who will survive Murder World in this fanfiction wet dream?

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Bizarro Blursday: Cassie-la Reviews “A Town Called Suckhole” by David W. Barbee

2 Oct

A Town Called Suckhole by David W. Barbee (Submission)
Genre: Bizarro fiction, satire, the South, post-apocalyptic, alternative history, this is why I won’t live in a red state
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Summary: The town of Suckhole arose out of a war between the northern and southern parts of the United States, created by radiation and the mutual destruction of both warring factions. Now, men in the town are being murdered and it’s the job of a human-animal hybrid named Dexter Spikes to save the citizens from further harm. In time for the “Hell-Yeah Heritage Jamboree” of course.

Ah, post-apocalyptic radioactive wastelands created in an alternative history America. You gotta love them. This novella is all about the end times in Suckhole, which occurred “eleventy thousand years” ago when dinosaurs and cars lived side by side and the North declared war on the “harmless” South. The war, which destroyed the population, revolved around the North turning the slaves against their masters with evil science, global warming and abortions! It’s easy to figure out who’s telling this story.

Unfortunately for the nation, the North, led by Abraham Hussein Lincoln (their words, not mine) escalated to nuclear war and Suckhole was created from the ashes of the devastation as a land of freedom for Southerners. Due to radiation, crazy mutated animals formed and took over the world. Like they do. One would hope that it would be sterility considering what was left behind of the population to breed, but that was sadly not the case. Instead lizardhounds, jackalopes, bear-sized mosquitoes and werepossums took over the landscape. Hopefully they at least help with population control.

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Bizarro Blursday: Cassie-la Reviews “King of the Perverts” by Steve Lowe

28 Aug

King of the Perverts by Steve Lowe (Submission)
Genre: Bizarro fiction, satire, humor perverse, it’s porn- it’s porn
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Summary: Dennis is your typical nobody. Stuck in a bad marriage and several dead end jobs, he isn’t someone you would look twice at. Until he lands a starring role in the online gameshow/porno “King of the Perverts” and proves to be a particularly adroit swordsman. Pun intended. But when his Russian cameraman holds him hostage for the prize money things get difficult, in this hilarious satire on the porn industry. And if that doesn’t sell you : BOOOOOBS! Did I mention boobs?

King of the Perverts isn’t a shy novel, bringing things right out of the gate by opening with a golden shower and some light vomiting. That being said, this novella is not for readers with weak stomachs or the unperverse. Definitely making that a word now. The finale in particular is disturbingly nauseating and I had to take a break from my reading to make it past some of the more raunchy sex acts. But if that’s your sort of thing, this is the book for you! Perverts.

Strange sexual proclivities aside, underneath the donkey punches is a smart, witty satire. On porn. A pornographic satire if you will about the industry, the way woman are treated in that sphere and a whole lot of questions about consent. And yes, all those themes will be addressed in the text in one way or another. Even if it’s ultimately about women debasing themselves for notoriety and profit. As a woman I don’t necessarily agree with the decisions of my fictional female counterparts, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen or that it’s not just a commentary on the inner-workings of the porn industry. It’s an unfortunate part of the American way. Or the porny way.

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Yes, More Zombies: Cassie-la Bites into “21st Century Dead” from Christopher Golden

8 Jul

21st Century Dead: A Zombie Anthology [edited] by Christopher Golden (Advanced Reader Copy)
Release Date: July 17, 2012
Genre: Fiction, zombies, anthology, humor, satire, horror, it’s all about the brains baby
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Summary: Zombies, they’re not just for horror movies anymore! They can be metaphors for our fears, our reliance on media, life-threatening illnesses, the homeless, and every other possibility in between. This anthology strives to explore the different ways that zombies can be tackled and how they have evolved since slowly shambling onto the silver screen. A wide range of authors lend their take in these 19 never before published stories compiled by editor Christopher Golden.

First off, I apologize about the belated posting, I am in the middle of San Diego Comic Con planning and packing, where hopefully I will have time to get this ARC signed while I’m in my full zombie Girl Scout regalia. Don’t worry, the cookies I’ll be selling are made from real Girl Scouts. Just kidding, I’m not selling cookies, just killing Girl Scouts. There will of course be a full post when I return detailing all the fun literary (and some of the not so literary) panels I partake in. My anal retentive schedule is ready and raring to go!

Where was I? Right, zombies! Golden uses the stories in this anthology as a lens to process our 21st century fears, the fear of death, the unknown, etc. There are nineteen stories in all, some covering the literal undead while others tackle drug use, loss, media consumption and every zombie metaphor imaginable. Zombies are called the walking dead, Infects, workers, the NODS, survivors, Hamlin’s Revenge, and the Dead Ones. They’re created by the R1 Virus, use the Revenant Patch, are spread by spiders, caused by drug use, and occur during the apocalypse, the Resurrection, and the Devastation. This is not your typical anthology about the undead.

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Modern Day Cryptozoology: Cassie-la Reviews “Donations to Clarity” by Noah Baird

1 Jul

Donations to Clarity by Noah Baird (Submission)
Genre: Fiction, cryptozoology, satire, humor, Bigfoot is my homeboy (I wish)
Rating: 3.98 out of 5 stars

Summary: The mythical Bigfoot is not so mythical, in this constantly shifting narrative that pairs the ape with a bevy of humans, dangerous and otherwise. Searched for by a covert agency of men in black suits, followed by members of the Sasquatch Research Organization, and confused by a man in a Chewbacca suit, Bigfoot keeps the humor coming and the satire as high as possible.

Did anyone see last night’s made for TV movie Bigfoot starring Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams? It’s better if you didn’t, because Noah Baird’s bigfoot is nowhere near as enormous, bloodthirsty, or poorly envisioned. In fact, minus the smell, he’s an awesome guy/creature/thing who despite the cover art is not a cyclops. Also, he doesn’t need to terrorize C list celebrities to make his novel worth a read.

The strength of Donations to Clarity lies in the way it is written. The story relies on a constantly shifting narrative from various points of view. At first it’s hard to tell why each person is being given a narrative, but as the story progresses you begin to realize the interconnected nature of the plot. Think Love Actually but with less Alan Rickman and more Bigfoot. You don’t know why the rednecks have a part to play in this story, and then BAM, you find out they’re related to Hugh Grant they’re creating Bigfoot hoaxes to drum up business and end up being on the wrong end of some Bigfoot loving.

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Bizarro Blursday: Cassie-la Reviews “Tall Tales with Short Cocks” from Etienne DeForest

24 May

Tall Tales with Short Cocks: A Bizarro Press Anthology [edited] by Etienne DeForest (Submission)
Genre: Bizarro fiction, short stories, anthology, zombies, satire, so that’s how FOX works
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Summary: A collection of nine bizarro short stories with genres ranging from satire to noir and written by a varied group of authors. Each story has its own theme, but don’t worry, as required by all anthologies there is a tale about zombies. Not to mention steampunk robots, diseased monkeys, dystopic world views, talking whales, angry squirrels and everything in between.

We’re very happy that in addition to reviewing Bizarro Blursday books for Eraserhead Press, we now get submissions from Bizarro Press. Long live the bizarro revolution! This anthology, whose title seems to hint that it will be the first of many sets, is a nice introduction for the new bizarro reader. While a bizarro novella can be quite daunting to the average reader, a collection of short stories is a lot easier to digest if you’re just entering the genre.

The anthology opens in a big way with the wonderful, “In the Flesh” by John McNee. It’s set in a dystopic, post-apocalyptic world that’s populated with robots. The story itself is narrated by a private eye hired by the infamous Clockwork Joe to find his lost love. Ultimately, it’s a cautionary tale about the reliance on machinery and our treatment of the earth. We learn about Grungehaven, a city with metal and wooden women and a part of town that’s called “damed” because a rush of water is being held back by an enormous dam. It’s also a story of love and redemption, but you’ll have to read it for yourself to see how.

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Art Imitating Life: Cassie-la Paints a Picture of “Sacré Bleu” by Christopher Moore

18 May

Sacré Bleu: A Comedy d’Art by Christopher Moore
Genre: Historical fiction, humor, satire, art, is this real life?
Rating: 4.67 out of 5 stars

Summary: Impressionists throughout Paris are stricken with strange bouts of memory loss and sitings of a mysterious Colorman. At the center of these curiosities are baker/painter Lucien Lessard and his friend Henri Toulouse-Lautrec who are investigating the mysterious death of their friend Vincent Van Gogh. As if things weren’t strange enough, the love of Lucien’s life Juliette has returned to town and with her a rise in the use of the sacred blue.

Some books cannot be read on an eReader (at least not a black and white eReader), but require full physical immersion, this being one of them. With a focus on art and the color blue, the aesthetic choice was to make all the book’s text blue. Chapter titles, numbers, heading, page numbers, and even the prose are all in shades of blue. Think taking House of Leaves to the next level. The cover is also done in shades of blue to represent the theme (I have included an uncovered less “scandalous” version of this later in the review). There are also paintings scattered throughout that inform the text, but more on that in another section. For now I’ll discuss the plot without giving too many of the surprises away.

Sacré Bleu is ultimately although not completely centered around the strange suicide of Vincent Van Gogh, who shot himself in the chest in the middle of a field and then walked to a doctor’s house where he died. And you thought the ear thing was the weirdest stunt he ever pulled- don’t worry, that comes up too. While not focused entirely on Van Gogh’s death, it covers the Impressionist painters (and Post-Impressionists) who stumble on the inner workings behind his death, which if you think about it, is an awfully bizarre way to commit suicide. It was this mystery that took off in Christopher Moore’s imagination and created this novel, his most ambitious and unique yet. Although I might still love A Dirty Job just a little more. It was my gateway book into Moore’s insane wacky worldview and has a special place in my heart.

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