“Reading Rainbow” is back! Kind of. Sort of. Not really. To celebrate his super Gatsby themed show, host Stephen Colbert decided to hold a book club (the first rule is you don’t read Fight Club) in which he meant to read The Great Gatsby but then totally didn’t. Colbert invites Carey Mulligan on the show to tell him about the plot, but since she can’t even read and is merely dubbed over by James Franco, LeVar Burton steps in to help with his trusty butterfly in the sky. Head over to the original source to check out all the Gatsby, all the nostalgia, and all the “Star Trek” references.
How to Wrongly Profit Off the Wonderland Fandom: Cassie-la Hulk Smashes “Alice in Zombieland” by Gena Showalter25 Mar
Alice in Zombieland by Gena Showalter
Genre: Fiction, young adult, zombies, horror, romance, remind me again what this has to do with Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland?
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
Summary: Alice Bell’s father is terrified of monsters hurting his family. As a result, Alice isn’t allowed out at night, and she’s certainly not allowed to walk near any cemeteries. But when her entire family dies in a horrific accident, she learns the hard way that her father may not be as crazy as she thought he was. Starring: a love interest with a hard muscular chest, a best friend with dialogue straight out of a Diablo Cody script, a cast of peripheral characters with terrible names and Alice, who is so attractive that everyone wants to have sex with her. Not starring: anything to do with Alice in Wonderland except a rabbit shaped cloud.
Once again I have gotten overly excited about an adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland and yet again I have thrown my money at something that merely seeks to profit off the renewed popularity of the books rather than pay homage to the little girl in a strange new world. It happened with the Tim Burton movie, the YA novel Splintered and it’s happened yet again with Alice in Zombieland. (Not to be confused with the awesome Threadless shirt or the book of the same name by Nickolas Cook of which I couldn’t make it through more than a page of.)
Despite obviously being marketed to fans of Wonderland (see the gorgeous cover if you need a reason why I jumped to this conclusion) there isn’t much of anything to connect the novel to Lewis Carroll’s world except the book title and the chapter names, which aren’t even that good on their own: Down the Zombie Hole, The Pool of Blood and Tears, Eerily Curiouser and Curiouser…, Advice from a Dying Caterpillar, and A Fiendishly Mad Tea Party.
Oh, and let’s not forget that the main character is named Alice and she keeps seeing a cloud in the shape of a white rabbit. Seriously, I would have rather been pandered to than abused for my love of all things Alice.
The Madness Underneath by Maureen Johnson
Release Date: February 26, 2013
Genre: Fiction, young adult, supernatural, paranormal, ghosts
Summary: Rory can see ghosts, which isn’t as awesome as it sounds. For example, as a result of her power she was chased by an entity recreating the Jack the Ripper murders and was left with a nasty scar to prove it. Now she’s got even more troublesome otherworldly powers and a desire to return to a normal life. Whatever that is anymore. Torn by her devotion to her family, her school friends, her new boyfriend and the super secret government ghost fighting organization in London, Rory is struggling to find her place in the regular world and the world of the undead. Because in the Shades of London series, life sucks and then you die. And sometimes you come back as a ghost.
When we last left Rory (full name Aurora) she was dealing with the ramifications of all the events that happened in book one, The Name of the Star (review HERE). In this sequel, she’s healing from all that nonsense, struggling to return some normalcy to her life and trying to deal with the world knowing her as that Ripper girl. We highly recommend you read the first book before you even attempt to tackle this one. Trust us, it’s full of Jack the Ripper goodness. End tedious introductory paragraph.
Gary Busey Explains How Hobbits Are Real and Why They’re Horny. Through Song. (via StarCrush)
For some reason (that reason most likely being brain damage) actor Gary Busey is under the impression that Hobbits are real. So much so that on his YouTube series “The Busey Zone” he shows off his severed Hobbit foot and sings a song about how they’re really horny. Jump to 3:28 for that nonsense. Because in Gary Busey land, “Horny starts with an H. The letter H. Hobbits start with the letter H. Horny Hobbits are thriving in Middle-earth. They don’t know what a reindeer is, but they’re horny like you can’t believe it.” This guy’s brain is like a bag full of cats.
The campaign for Rick Yancey- the author of The Monstrumologist trilogy’s- new series The 5th Wave is well underway. Which is a lot farther along than it was during NYCC when all we knew about it was that it was an alien series with an intriguing if confusing poster. Now we know that it’s about an alien invasion dubbed the Arrival, featuring a main character named Cassie (NICE NAME!) who despite trying to elude the alien scourge and locate her brother has time to maintain her own Tumblr. The first 54 pages of the novel have also been released. We’re already sold.
Sometimes Sci-Fi Fairy Tales Are the Best Fairy Tales: Cassie-la Frolics Through “Scarlet” By Marissa Meyer1 Mar
Scarlet: The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer
Genre: Fiction, fantasy, science-fiction, fractured fairy tale, robots, young adult, yes you can frolic through a book because I said so
Rating: 4.53 out of 5 stars
Summary: Cyborg Cinder is on the run after escaping from her prison in New Beijing and one of her only supporters seem to be Scarlet Benoit over in France. But Scarlet is having some troubles of her own, specifically that her grandmother has gone missing and the police think no foul play is involved. With the help of the mysterious street fighter Wolf, Scarlet embarks on a journey to save her grandmother, not even knowing that her path with the wanted Cinder is about to collide thanks to some secrets in her own past.
Set directly after the first novel in the Lunar Chronicles: Cinder, Scarlet picks up right where its predecessor left off, with Cinder learning about her true Anastasia-style identity and being tasked with reclaiming what is rightfully hers: THE MOON! It’s that amazingly dramatic. Inter-twined with this story is the brand new tale of Scarlet, whose back story of woe was inspired by Little Red Riding Hood, complete with her preference for red hoodies and her new friend with a murky past: Wolf. In this case, a (sexy- I assume) fighter whose combatants nicknamed him after a wild canine.
Linking Cinder and Scarlet is the short story The Queen’s Army (The Lunar Chronicles 1.5) which follows Ze’ev, a young boy turned into a brand new breed of wolf to fight for the Lunar Queen, the evil Levana. He features heavily in Scarlet, and if you want absolutely no spoilers about Levana’s big bad
wolf plans, you should probably steer clear of it. However, if you don’t care that Snape killed Dumbledore, then I highly recommend giving it a read.
Neil Gaiman Writes Short Stories Based on Tweets, Asks Internet for Fan Art (via The Mary Sue)
Fantasy author and all around amazingly inventive guy Neil Gaiman partnered with Blackberry to create short stories based around the twelve months of the year and inspired by tweets submitted by his followers to create the collection, A Calendar of Tales. All the short stories are available for your reading pleasure in PDF form HERE. In response to his collection, Gaiman has asked for art and videos inspired by the short stories. Some of which will eventually be featured in a limited edition book. Talk about a collaborative effort.
The Archived by Victoria Schwab
Release Date: January 22, 2013
Genre: Paranormal Young Adult Fiction
Summary: Welcome to the Archive, a library for the dead. Spending your afterlife in a library sounds like a pretty sweet deal, right? Endless books and comfy chairs! Caveat – it’s spent as a History, an exact physical replica of every person who’s lived. Histories contain the memories of each life and are usually in a deep sleep. Except sometimes the dead wake, and they want more than anything to get back to the world they knew. First, they must get through the Narrows, the shadowy realm between the Archive and the Outer. And that’s where Keepers come in. Keepers stand between the real world and the Histories, and must get them back to Returns before they become violent.
Mackenzie Bishop is a Keeper, inheriting the position from her grandfather. After a family tragedy, she moves to a new apartment building with the fractured remains of her family. She quickly discovers her new home is directly connected to the Narrows, which should make her job easier. Except more and more Histories seem to be waking, overwhelming Mac with work. And that’s not the worst part – someone has been altering the Histories, wiping memories from the dead. Mac has to find the culprit before she becomes a History herself.
Libraries! Tragedy! Intrigue! Special powers! Snarky guys in eyeliner! This book has it all.
Dualed by Elsie Chapman (Galley)
Release Date: February 26, 2013
Genre: Fiction, young adult, dystopia, action, can we get a reboot?
Rating: 2.99 out of 5 stars
Summary: Meet West, a teen who picked the wrong time to have an identity crisis, because in Kersh there are two versions of you, you and your Alt, but only one is allowed to live. If you don’t eliminate your Alt in the 31-day time span, you both will die. Sure you can hire a Striker to kill your target for you, but that’s against the rules in this modern take on natural selection. Who truly deserves to live if your Alt is the better you, and how can a world survive where the only people who live to adulthood are murderers? Most of these questions will definitely not be answered in Dualed. That’s what sequels are for.
As a reader, I would like to petition the ability to make reboots for books. If the movie industry can do it (again and again and again), I don’t see why I, as a hypothetical millionaire in this situation, shouldn’t be able to purchase the rights of a book series and let a different author give the story justice. Public domain be damned, that nonsense takes far too long and just ends up resulting in a glut of repetitive books in the publishing world. I’m looking at you Pride and Platypus!
After learning about Dualed during a panel at this year’s New York Comic Con, I knew I had to read it. A dystopic society where you must kill an alternate version of yourself before they kill you? “Sign me up!” I recall thinking, even though my brain’s initial response was probably more like, “Cool.” Which is why I immediately jumped on a chance to receive a galley of the inventive novel. Unfortunately, while its premise is strong and the world in which it resides in is a rich one, the good stops there. Due to a lack of relate-able characters and completely ignoring the ramifications of murder, Dualed is one novel that had so much potential, but ended up stabbing itself in the back.
“Game of Thrones” Season Three Gets a Trailer… Kind Of (via On Wednesdays We Wear Pink)
“Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder.” At least according to the slimy Lord Petyr Baelish who narrates the new “Game of Thrones” trailer. Sadly no new official footage is available from this season three video, just some eery close-ups of the characters faces while Littlefinger creepily discusses the nature of chaos. (Reminder: everyone you see will probably die.) We’ll take it though. It sure beats a trailer of a three-eyed raven flying around a modern city.