Remember that time I didn’t write a blog post last week? And then didn’t plan one out for this week either? After two weeks ago promising I would really, really write a book blog? Well…..I’m sorry. My job is killing me, I have no time to read. This week’s distractions from reading are especially intense because unfortunately it is Memorial Day weekend. BUT I am HOPING that next Monday you will all be reading a nice blog about Narnia that I’ve been promising Cassie-wa for ages.
This week, I just want to reiterate something – the Harry Potter movies are AWFUL. Like horrendously bad. I do not accept this, but I know some – like Cassie-wa and other fans – will defend them. These defenders will say things like, “Well you just have to view it as separate from the books.” “It can’t be the books exactly – it’s a completely different medium.” Or – “The movies have created their own kind of canon to go off of.”
Except not. Because our friend Cathleen has blown this last theory apart. Cassie-wa briefly mentioned in her post on the 7th movie that at least they attempt to keep the things in the movies consistent. WRONG. WRONG. SO WRONG.
I received this text yesterday: “I just need to tell you that BARTY CROUCH JR has MOODY’S voice while POLYJUICED in the 4th movie.”
I cannot believe I never noticed this before. I guess because I really only watch the movies once, yell at the screen the whole time, and then try to forget about it. I have been consistently annoyed that when the characters in the movie take polyjuice potion it does not affect their vocal chords for some reason and they retain the original characters voice. What a handy potion – making you look like someone, but not making you sound like that person. That will really help you pull off some covert operations. Now the obvious explanation (besides that Chris Columbus is a fucking moron) is that we don’t want to confuse the CHILDREN watching the movie and let them know that that’s actually Harry and Ron even though they appear to be Crabbe and Goyle. Obviously in the 7th movie, this would present a problem though when they don’t have to trick a 12 year old Draco Malfoy – they have to trick a ton of Death Eaters. So it was annoying that they all kept their same voices, but at least that was consistent with what they’ve been doing.
EXCEPT NOT. NOT AT ALL.
The entire 4th movie – Mad Eye Moody is actually Barty Crouch Jr. polyjuiced. But is it David Tennant doing a Brendan Gleeson impression? NO IT IS NOT. It is just Gleeson’s voice.
These movies cannot even keep track of their own stupid bullshit. Ugh and ugh. I am so sick of people defending them. It’s one thing if you’re like me and just want to see Alan Rickman being sexy, but besides that I see no merit in these movies at all. Not even the old why-I-read-Twilight-and-other-crap-like-that defense that they are “entertaining.” They are not entertaining. The acting is consistently bad (exception of Alan Rickman and maybe Helena and Jason Isaacs?), the pacing is horrible, I can’t imagine they make a lick of sense if you haven’t read the books, and they are boring. Enough. I’m so glad they are finally going to be over this summer.
Anyway. I just ranted about that because I don’t have a book to talk about it and I still can’t believe I never picked up on that shit before.
In better news – Game of Thrones the TV show is REALLY GETTING AWESOME. I am telling you – it is so worth it to get through those 4 or 5 exposition episodes in the beginning. It’s definitely picking up now. You should watch it.
I did take a break from Storm of Swords however to pick up Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett so perhaps I will actually be able to blog a little bit consistently for awhile.
End rambling. Bye!
P.S. That first line about DeadGod is a Starship reference. And if you don’t know what that is, you need to get your ass to youtube now!