Today my apartment flooded. It wasn’t your normal type of flooding, but rather like a bubble bath had overflowed into our apartment. It was warm and smelled like cinnamon so besides the waterlogged nature of my library, I didn’t have too many complaints. The pets are another matter, as Boxcar and Jameson do not like water, no matter how warm it is or how much it makes the house smell like Cinnamon Buns.
When I called our 24/7 Emergency Maintenance Hotline I was told it was a widespread problem and they were working to stop the overflow as soon as possible. Which was fine by me since the house was super warm and it didn’t add to my electric bill.
Someone did eventually come fix the problem, although their Wet Dry Vac looked like something out of the “Flinstones” and it eyed me rather suspiciously the whole time. Sorry Wet Dry Vac, in this economy beggar’s can’t be choosers.
Today is Lewis Carroll’s birthday, which also means that it’s time yet again for the internet to celebrate Rabbit Hole Day. Let the fun and confusion commence!
In 2005, LiveJournal user Crisper created a day to celebrate the works of Lewis Carroll in the most fantasy fueled way possible. As the man himself explains:
“January 27th is the birthday of Lewis Carrol, author of ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. Alice fell down a rabbit hole into a place where everything had changed and none of the rules could be counted on to apply anymore. I say, let’s do the same: January 27th, Rabbit Hole Day. When you post on that day, instead of the normal daily life and work and news and politics, write about the strange new world you have found yourself in for the day, with its strange new life and work and news and politics. Are your pets talking back at you now? Has your child suddenly grown to full adulthood? Does everyone at work think you’re someone else now? Did Bush step down from the White House to become a pro-circuit tap-dancer? Did Zoroastrian missionaries show up on your doorstep with literature in 3-D? Have you been placed under house arrest by bizarre insectoid women wielding clubs made of lunchmeat?… Let’s all fall down the Rabbit Hole for 24 hours and see what’s there. It will be beautiful.”
The goal is to make the internet its own Wonderland come to life. A bizarro novel in the flesh, where anything is impossible. This can result in confusion for those not in the know. One year a friend of mine perpetuated a story across multiple platforms (specifically LiveJournal and Twitter) that California was slowly being covered in a thick layer of sand. Her job was so deftly done that people were checking on her well-being and trying to find new stories of the strange phenomena happening on the West Coast.
I was able to create a similar false narrative in 2009 through my own LiveJournal, when I told the story of the end of days in New Jersey, in which I hit a mountain lion with my car and animals reclaimed the land. The ruse worked so well that even Cassie-wa told her roommate about my near brush with feline related death. You can find a full copy of my first ever Rabbit Hole Day concoction below.
TRANSCRIBED FROM MY LIVEJOURNAL ENTRY ON 01/27/2009 (some edits have been made to protect my and your sanity):
I went to see the hematologist today to see if my low immunoglobulin levels (or as my coworker calls them, my “immobile goblins”) were causing my stomach problems, but the answer seems to be nay. She was, by far, the coldest/strangest doctor I have ever been to. Not only did she rudely ask me if I was anorexic and constantly harp on the fact that I was “too small” but when she took some blood she actually made me flinch in pain because she shoved the needle into my vein so harshly. The throbbing was so intense I though I was going to pass out. Which I did… In my car… In the parking lot.
When I regained what I would call semi-consciousness I decided to just drive straight back to New Brunswick so I could lay in bed like a lump and read ::shudder:: Oliver Twist. The drive was nice and peaceful, not a SINGLE FUCKING car on the road. In hindsight I should have realised this was odd, especially considering that this is how I constantly envision the zombie apocalypse starting… Either that or while I’m in the shower and the lights go out and I’m stuck naked in the tub while undead corpses are wandering the house and raiding the pantry for brains.
Anyways, I was about three-fourths of the way back home when I ran my car straight into, get this, A MOUNTAIN LION. Or a panther, or a cheetah, I couldn’t really tell which considering that I was driving 65 miles an hour and was in shock at this point. Poor Ophelia (my ’89 VW) was dead; at least she didn’t commit suicide like her Shakespearian namesake. So I was stuck on the eerily silent highway with not a car in sight and completely screwed. Not even AARP was picking up the phone, what kind of customer service is that!?!
And to top it all off I smoked all my cigarettes while waiting for some other form of life to cross my path. At least I had time to read Oliver Twist though. I started to get a little creeped out when I saw a pack of wolves wandering around (which would explain all the dead deer I had seen on my drive up). At the time I had assumed that someone had released all the animals from a nearby zoo, or that it was the zombie apocalypse. At least the animals weren’t zombified, I don’t think I could take on a zombie alpaca (although maybe the rotting limbs would slow it down).
After several hours of nothingness I gave up and just walked the rest of the way home (which was another few hours of nothingess). I never realised how long Easton Avenue was until I had to walk the length of it. AND IT WAS FREEZING OUT! At least I missed the snow storm which is now blanketing everything. I’m 90% positive that classes are cancelled tomorrow, and 95% positive that this is the apocalypse and this snow is signaling another ice age.
When I finally got home I watched the news. I’m pretty sure you have all been glued to your televisions my lovely flist, and seen the notices to stay inside your homes due to a. the ridiculous hailstorms and b. the animals reclaiming nature. When I was in 8th grade our crazy Life Studies teacher told us that earthquakes and cancer were mother earth’s way of killing us off for ruining the ozone layer and polluting the oceans, I’m starting to think she was onto something.
Crap, I have to go scare the bobcats away again. I think they’re waiting for me to walk Boxcar.
I LOVE YOU ALL and I hope you and your families are safe and sound. It’s not quite how I envisioned the end of the world, but I suppose it will do, although personally I could have used more explosions, and maybe a dinosaur or two. Oh well, TAKE THAT MAYAN CALENDAR!
[ETA] Click HERE for further proof of the end of days.
I tricked about four people, but more importantly I spread the word of Rabbit Hole Day. I haven’t seen a lot of twitter related RHD activity today, but there’s still plenty of time to wreak havoc and confuse the masses. Who’s with me!?! Spread the word, tell your friends, and give yourself into Wonderland.