Not My Fandom: Cassie-la Tries to Explain “Divergent” Without Ever Having Read It

Divergent PosterThese days in the young adult world it seems like something is always being touted as the next Hunger Games, which in itself was disturbingly referred to as the next Twilight which was just the next Harry Potter. I could keep going, but I’ll spare you.

Because back in my day, the Iliad was just the next Oedipus Rex and we had to wait years to find out if Harry Potter was a horcrux or not!

I was kind of hoping that The Mortal Instruments would be the next Hunger Games but sadly that plan fell through so hard and it looks like the upcoming book series turned film Divergent will be the next Hunger Games after all. Unless Jonathan Rhys Meyers is in that too.

I have yet to read Divergent, although I probably should seeing as I bought a copy before they gave it a movie cover just in case. Also I promised some people. Winky face.

The novel has already been read and reviewed on this site by the fabulous Kelly and while she didn’t love it (due to the fact that she found it full of privilege, Christian undertones and plot holes) she has better taste than I. Meaning the guilty pleasure center of my brain may love it. After all, I’ve enjoyed worse things in life. I’m looking at you, Jennifer’s Body. Never has a demonic sacrifice to a Tommy Tutone song been so amazing.

With that in mind, I will now explain what the fuss is about this Divergent thing, despite having never read the book and armed only with information I gleaned from Tumblr. So yeah, this experiment should go well. Or terribly. Probably terribly.

You have been pre-warned, Jon Snow and I both know nothing.

This is Tris, played by Shailene Woodley. You can’t throw a rock anymore without hitting a movie she was in, is currently in or will someday be in in the future. She’s a Divergent, which means she doesn’t fit in the caste system that this dystopian society has created, specifically groups or factions of people divided by their personality traits.

Tris Divergent

Being a Divergent could threaten the fabric of society, so Dakota Fanning Tris, must try to keep her non-conformity a secret or Lady President Snow will have her killed.

Divergent Kate Winslet

But there are a lot of different factions: Erudites the Ravenclaws, Dauntless the Gryffindors, Abnegation the Other Gryffindors and the rest who aren’t even worthy of mention in a song. Sorry Hufflepuffs!

Divergent Factions

This lady runs the brain tanning machine which tells you which faction you should join based on science. She is here solely for exposition purposes and is only allowed to whisper. Good work, Movie Magnus Bane.

Divergent Still

This if Four, his job is to help rescue Tris. He escaped from the other YA book I Am Number Four because he found it inferior. One day they will bone, assuming there isn’t some sort of love triangle that ruins Fourtris. Regardless, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say this dude is her end game. Even though he’s a space alien from another planet.

Four

Tattoos. Everyone seems to have tattoos which possibly indicate which group you belong to. For example, Dauntless members have specialized tattoos which show their caste, which they get for proving their fearlessness by jumping off buildings and somehow not dying. Or something.

Divergent Tattoos

Dauntless Divergent GIF

Also in the future, people throw knives at your head for fun. It’s the national pastime.

Divergent Knife Throwing

Also, also, everything takes place at Epcot.

Divergent Epcot

And it’s really just that show “Revolution” but the ferris wheel is less symbolic.

Divergent Ferris Wheel

NAILED IT!

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